Gilligan’s Island to Finally Hit Big Screen, Screen Threatens to Hit Back


Calls to James Dean’s agent about his possibly playing the new Gilligan went unanswered.

What with the deaths of Akira Kurosawa, Michelangelo Antonioni, Krzysztof Kieslowski, and Stanley Kubrick, the film adaptation of this classic TV series had to be repeatedly delayed.

But now, Stanley Lipschitz, director of such classic fare as I Was a Teenage Adolescent, The Killer in My Shorts, and Mary Had a Little Spam, has agreed to take the helm and fully realize the many dimensions of the entire Howell Cotillion controversy.

Rumors abound as to the casting. Dustin Hoffman as the professor is one idea that’s been bouncing around Hollywood, and Dame Judi Dench as Mrs. Howell another. Michael Cera seems to be the new Gilligan, but will negotiations break down to bring a once-again overfed Robert De Niro onboard as the Skipper?

Who says they don’t make television like they used to? Only now, you have to pay eleven bucks to see it …

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