Now the Director of ‘Innocence of Muslims’ Says He’s Innocent, Thought He Was Replacing Tony Scott on ‘Top Gun II’

"I'm going to be a big, big star one day, just like that Frank Stallone."
“I’m going to be a big, big star one day, just like that Frank Stallone.”

Wow. Either that “Sam Bacile,” aka Nakoula Nakoula (Oh, come on! What is with these names?), is the cleverest dude on the planet, or the cast and crew of The Innocence of Muslims, a stupid exercise in interfaith pranking that has been used as the pretext for the Middle East meltdown, are among the dimmest of dimwits ever to be let loose without adult supervision.

It turns out that the director of this masterwork is a guy named Alan Roberts, whose career has been mostly in soft porn for the lovelorn.

Roberts’ real name is Robert Brownell, a 65-year-old small-time director and editor, whose directing credits include some softcore porn from the 70s and 80s like 1977’s “Young Lady Chatterly,” “The Sexpert” and “The Happy Hooker Goes to Hollywood,” third of the Happy Hooker trilogy. Other credits reportedly include low-budget films like 1991’s “Karate Cop” along with 28 editing credits.

“My gut tells me he (Roberts) was just a has-been director who was trying to prove he could still be Hollywood,” an actress who worked on Innocence of Muslims reportedly wrote in an email.

Wait—there was a Happy Hooker trilogy? As in more than one?

Gawker wrote that it has tried to reach Roberts, “but his business associate told us he ‘turned off his phone’ soon after protests broke out over the film and is laying low. But he said Roberts was ‘non-political’ and did not have any apparent anti-Islam feelings.”

According to the report, “Roberts may have been duped by the film’s producer in much the same way as the rest of the cast and crew. They believed they were participating in a period piece about ancient Egypt and had no idea the movie would be edited and dubbed into a piece of Islamophobic propaganda.”

A period piece about ancient Egypt—for NatGeo? The Discovery Channel? Al Jazeera? The Playboy Channel?

The promoter of the film, Steve Klein, seems to have been one of the two people who actually knew what they were doing, and why:

The public face for the anti-Muslim film inflaming the Middle East is not the filmmaker, but an insurance agent and Vietnam War veteran whose unabashed and outspoken hatred of radical Muslims has drawn the attention of civil libertarians, who say he’s a hate monger.

With the Coptic Christian filmmaker Nakoula Basseley Nakoula in hiding, film promoter Steve Klein has taken center stage in the unfolding international drama. He’s given a stream of interviews about the film and the man he says he knew only as Sam Bacile, and is using the attention to talk about his own political views. …

The role dovetailed with Klein’s relentless pursuit of radical Muslims in America, an activity he says he began after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. It took on more meaning in 2007, when his son, then a 27-year-old Army staff sergeant, was seriously injured in Iraq. Matthew Klein, a medic, was awarded the Bronze Star for Valor and a Purple Heart for injuries he suffered in the attack by a suicide bomber, according to the Army Human Resources Command.

“What do I get out of this? I get to die one of these days hoping my granddaughters and my grandsons will be safe from these monsters,” Klein said while sipping a beer on the front porch of his home.

He claimed to have visited “every mosque in California” and identified “500 to 750 of these people who are future suicide bombers and murderers.”

Well, if Steve Klein says it’s a fact, who am I to contradict him?

Of course, everyone else involved in this enterprise is twisting themselves into great gobs of baklava to declare their love of Islam, and how they are not in the least Islamophobic. Why, if they had their druthers, they’d go make their soft-porn livings in Yemen or Libya—but they have delicate skin, you see, and the sun is just so brutal on their complexions, and you see all this stuff on the Web about melanoma.

Look, other than watching the trailer on the Interweb, I haven’t seen Innocence of Muslims, which I have no doubt is a bombastic piece of propaganda and by no means a serious pursuit of “the historical Muhammad.” And I’m also certain that civil libertarians and guardians of free speech will approach this matter with the same constitutional integrity as they did the controversies swirling around The Last Temptation of Christ and Corpus Christi.

There’s that darn sarcasm again…